he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
