okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
