grandma shit on top of the toilet
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
