how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
