New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
