Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
