and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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