I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
