sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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