you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
