i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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