I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
