I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize