Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
