I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
