Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
