Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize