There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
