I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
