i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
