So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
