Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
