he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
