i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I don't think brook has ever known best
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
