i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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