I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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