i think my tv is drunk
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
