if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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