I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
