Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
