I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
