I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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