I accidentally burped into my bong.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
