How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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