I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize