my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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