I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
