i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
