He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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