Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
