i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
