Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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