you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
