Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
