I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
