If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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