i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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