Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
