im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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