when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
