So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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