come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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