I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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