i just wanna soil my oats bro
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
