um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He better not be in your backpack
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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