You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
