thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
