I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
