We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I can't put those talents on a resume
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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