He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
