my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Randomize
