guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He? As in you personified your dick?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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