the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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